One of the many things I love about blogging is being able to interact with people through comments. On several of my outfit of the day posts, I received comments from girls telling me that I was their “thinspiration”. I must admit, I had no idea what that meant. Of course I googled it, because I was too curious not to. The search results were surprising and slightly disturbing.
The Eating Disorder Glossary defines thinspiration as, “Any form of media, print, pictures, videos, etc. that are utilized in an unhealthy manner to promote continued weight loss.” Please listen to me as I’m telling you, I do NOT want to be your thinspiration. I am anorexic.
I was diagnosed with Anorexia in January this year during a week long hospital stay. I can honestly tell you that there is nothing glamorous about crying on the bathroom floor after eating, while concerned nurses look on. There is nothing inspiring about being unhealthy and fighting a war against food everyday.
Anorexia is like having a bitchy roommate that wants to follow you everywhere. You walk downstairs to the kitchen, and Anorexia is there standing in front of the pantry saying, “Do you really need to eat a sandwich right now? You do know it’s bikini season..” You want to go to the mall to get a new outfit, and Anorexia follows you into the dressing room. “I can’t even believe you’re trying on those shorts, it’s like you want the whole world to see your thunder thighs!” Does Anorexia sound like something that you want in your life?
When I started this blog, I had no intention of talking about my disorder. Now I feel like it’s important to address the issue. My posts about fashion are just that. The outfit posts are about showcasing the clothes, not my body. I realize that when you put something on the internet for everyone to see, you’re opening yourself up for all kinds of criticism and opinions. I’m used to people telling me that I’m too skinny and I need to put some meat on my bones. What I’m not accustomed to is people seeing my obvious malnourishment and saying, “Hey! I want to look just like that!”
If you’re considering skipping a meal every once in a while, don’t. If you’re exercising to the extreme and putting strain on your body just to fit in an old dress, stop it. Buy a new dress. Cut calories if you must, but don’t cut out meals. Exercise to stay healthy, don’t obsess over it. Most importantly, don’t look to anyone else for inspiration on how your body should look. Exactly who you are is good enough. Try to focus on loving yourself instead of the scale. That’s what I’ll be working on.